I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
