Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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