We are two peas in an std pod
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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