You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Congratulations! We have a period
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