Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
