Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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