I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
