dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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