They should really pass out barf bags in church
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
