I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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