so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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