May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
