Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
