Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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