Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
organizing the empties. That sober.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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