I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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