my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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