No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
