So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
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cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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