I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
