The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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