You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
