I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
