smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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