so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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