highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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