R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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