how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
