We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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