So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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