If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
