Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize