Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize