I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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