Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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