kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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