boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
