its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
