Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This is the high leading the old right now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
