my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sober January is a disaster.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
