It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
