Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
