By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins