i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..