That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants