It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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