i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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