you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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