I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
