Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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