I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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