I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.