you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
