If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
