are you so shy because you have an std?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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