Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
