I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
