sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
